I’ve been very fortunate in my life. I won’t use the term “lucky” because there has been a lot of hard work from a lot of people (myself included) to get me to where I am today. But I definitely feel grateful for all that I have been able to see, achieve and experience to date.
The one thing that comes with that, however, and the one thing I’ve always struggled with, is expectation. The expectation to succeed, to be the over-achiever, to continue to uphold the image I’ve worked so hard to create in the first place. The problem with up-keeping an image though is if it’s not authentic, it will start to appear as more of a mirage. That’s essentially how I started to live my life. A shell of myself. On the path of someone else’s dream.
When I would tell people what I do for work, I was every time met with a starry-eyed, awed response of, “Oh wow, that’s amazing. That must be so much fun!” And the truth is, it was. But the deeper truth is, there was always something missing for me.
It’s been nagging at me for a while now that I need something more. To do something different. Something that feels like it has a greater purpose in the grand scheme. So, I quit.
And in doing so, I’m leaving behind a position in which I had full autonomy, great success and loving colleagues, and for exactly what? Well, I can’t answer that yet. But what I can tell you is this:
It’s totally okay to walk away from something simply because it no longer serves you. You do not need any other reasons or justifications than that. You will be met with resistance. You will be met with questions (some that you may not even be able to resolve for yourself), but that’s okay. You don’t have to have it all figured out, all the time. It’s one step, followed by another until you realize you’ve reached this destination that you didn’t necessarily know you had set out to find.
You will falter. You will fumble. And still, that’s okay. I’m trying to really learn this for myself as I too keep putting one foot ahead of the other, so please don’t think I’m preaching this from having reached an enlightened state or something like that (haha). Sometimes I just think it’s helpful to know that you’re doing okay. So in case no one has told you that lately – keep doing you no matter which point in your journey you’re at.
One of my favourite quotes, from such a charming movie, says it all perfectly, “Everything will be alright in the end. And if it’s not alright, then trust me, it’s not yet the end.”